After discussing with a friend a list of great game ideas, we veered toward the topic of worst game ideas. While what we came up with was probably not the worst game idea in the world, it most certainly is a tribute to the worst game idea in the world.
Imagine you are on a boat, headed towards Normandy beach. Men around you are gripping their rifles in fearful anticipation. One to the left of you vomits his breakfast all over the steel floor below you. “This is going to be hell,” you think, “I probably won’t make it out alive.” The anticipation builds as the transport lurches forward over the crest of a wave and your character briefly glimpses a pillbox straight ahead just before it is hidden again by the motions of the water. Death is felt everywhere, dulled only by the discomforting thought that at least you won’t be on this damn boat rocking back and forth.
After another ten minutes that feels stretched out to four hours, clanking is heard ahead. The driver of your transport screams something you can’t quite make out over the adrenaline pumping through your veins, but you know what it means. Suddenly the boat groans one last time as the front panel gives way to form a ramp leading out to the beach. Your character’s muscles tighten and brow becomes determined as a slew of bullets rip through his body and he suddenly goes completely limp and dies. Your body is nothing more than an obstruction to your comrades behind you and the last thing you hear are their screams as they too are mowed down by relentless machine gun fire.
Would you like to restart?
-Yes.
The same scenario plays out and you die again.
Would you like to restart?
-Yes.
This time you make it over the side of your transport and are shot as you fall into the water. You drown to death trying to move the heavy equipment slung over your shoulders with a shattered arm.
Would you like to restart?
…
This is the worst game in the world (tribute) because the odds of you making it up the famous beaches of Normandy on this D-Day will be just as realistic as real life. You’re character will be randomly chosen from the thousands of soldiers every time you restart and it will be very likely that you will simply die the moment you leave the safety of your boat. In some cases you may even arrive well after the storming of the beach is done. There are, however, no checkpoints or levels and if you die at any point you will start from the very beginning: back on the boats. The game won’t be complete until the war against Germany is over.
After Normandy, you and a squad will have to make your way across the French countryside where you can be picked off by MG nests, snipers, or enemy squads. Just for good measure, the controls will be clunky and unresponsive. There won’t be any music and your gun will jam frequently if you don’t clean it. Also the graphics won’t be any better than the original Medal of Honor (pictured above). This will be in part to pack half a continent’s worth of material into the game without breaks in the action and thrilling excitement.
Uh-oh… your squad hasn’t been able to rejoin the regiment for three days. Have they been wiped out? Is your navigator completely reliable? You don’t know. A french freedom fighter mistakes you for a common thief and shoots you in the head when he catches you scavenging in his kitchen at night.
Start from the beginning.
